Election Day!

It's Election Day today! As our junior textbook says … "I wonder which will win? I wonder which will die?" Hmmm, maybe that's not so helpful for the election.

My Election Day is almost over, but in America, it's just beginning. Maybe when I get up they'll know who might win.

In other news, I read my first article about this year's election (besides candidate info for voting) today, in Japanese on a kids News site!

To end this slightly random election blog, here is my ballot, sent in a few weeks ago.

A fun weekend with friends!

The weekend started with an enkai with the PTA. The Japanese was a bit hard, but it was a lot of fun to get to hang out with the teachers and parents.

Then I headed to a friends’ house to hang out for the weekend. The weekend started with Karaoke. I had to snap this one quick because Lina usually hides from the camera.



The boys’ side of the table looked clear on my camera’s screen, so here’s a tiny version.



Ros and I.



This karaoke included dessert.



Singing in the karaoke booth, just singing in the karaoke booth. Jay!, Roland, Lina, Ros and I.



After a few hours of singing, we headed out for dinner. When I heard okonomiyake, I voted strongly for it.



The other side of the table. Roland, Jay!, and Ros.



Lina and I.



The sauces. Yakiniku (Japanese BBQ), Sweet sauce, Spicy, Mayo and another sauce.



I got the mochi bacon okonomiyake. Here’s what came. Now it’s time to stir!



Lina’s heart style okonomiyake.



Then we headed to the arcade for some purikura. We got a bit side tracked before we could get there though.




That night we stayed up till 4am playing hand and foot. It was a fun time of games and friends.

The next morning for lunch breakfast at about 2pm, we had enchiladas.



After lunch we played more hand and foot, but I had to leave before we could finish a whole game. I did take second or third in the round we played though.

Japanese study update

After all the tough-ness of speaking so little Japanese when I came, lots of good, encouraging Japanese moments have happened recently.

A few weeks ago, I realized the manga a friend recommended was getting pretty easy, it was still a bit tough, but I could understand most of it. So I decided to start working on reading my first Japanese novel. A friend was with me who had seen the movie Brave and thought the novel version might be good. I’m currently 4 pages into it!

With lots of friends having just left and making new ALT-friends, I’ve found myself in a couple of moments when I had the highest level of Japanese. Before, that was very rare. Now it’s because a lot of those friends have left or I’ve been in groups with mostly newbies, but I’ve never been in that situation before.

I signed up for the JLPT (the Japanese Language test of DOOM! aka the Japanese Language Proficiency Test). Which I’ll take the first Sunday in December. I’m taking N3, which is the middle level they offer. It’s going to be a challenge to get ready, but I think I can do it.

And last, this weekend we were sitting around chatting at a hostel in Sapporo when a guy from Tokyo asked if either of us (Liz and I) could speak much Japanese. The hostel owner, pointed at me and said “She can.” It took me a moment to realize he must be talking about me!

Now it’s time to study some more so I’m ready for this crazy test!

Thankfulness

God has funny ways of teaching us things sometimes.

Mom and E came for a visit almost a week ago. While they stayed at my house (3 nights), mom usually got up first and proceed to do the dishes while she boiled water for coffee.

When we were talking one day, I confessed that I hate doing dishes. I didn’t mind at home, where I could rinse them and put them in the dishwasher, but doing each and every single one by hand had gotten old fast.

Mom said that when it came time to do the dishes she always remembered a sign my Grandma Ruth (dad’s mom) had near her sink. It said something to the effect of don’t complain about the dishes, because it means that your family ate well.

Tonight, as I went to do the dishes, I remembered this. It’s funny how I’ve taken the verse "Give thanks in all circumstances” (1 Thessalonians 5:18), to mean only the big things – that I was safe after the car accident, that God has provided a job, that my family is healthy. But I’ve forgotten to apply it to the everyday mundane things.

Dishes - I’ve eaten well today, many people in the world don’t get that chance. Walking to work in the snow after the accident – despite being car-less my body was still healthy.

It’s easy to complain about the small, tedious things in life. But in the midst of them, I need to remember God’s blessings and thank him for them.

366 Project, week 3

During week 3/4 I got sick. So there are a few holes as I just didn’t think about getting a photo.



(15/366) The mountains on my drive home from church. I loved the combination of sky and mountains.



(16/366) My kindle cover. I had forgotten to take a picture and it got toward the end of the day. I really liked the texture of the edges.



(17/366) My students were playing karuta. Karuta is a Japanese traditional game where one person calls out a word that corresponds to various cards. These were in super stylized calligraphy, so I couldn’t read them well enough to play. For example, I looked at this one, skipped the crazy calligraphy on the left, and read it “さも” (sa-mo). One of my students had to point out the squiggle on the right which reads “し” (shi), so it actually says “しさも” (shisamo).

(18/366) I got super sick on Wednesday this week, including puking and a fever. I was barely able to keep myself going through the day, let alone remembering to be creative and take photos.

(19/366) Though I finished getting sick the night before, I continued to have a fever and very little energy on Thursday. I spent most of the day on the couch.



(20/366) On Friday, I ended up feeling good enough to move around a little. My supervisor brought me fruit and as I looked at it sitting on my table, I liked how the light caught the plastic on the bag. It took me several shots to get the variety of light the way it is now. I finally ended up bumping the exposure down while focusing on the right part of the bag. I don't really love the way I framed it, but I was finally happy with how I caught the light.



(21/366) While browsing pinterest this day, I noticed someone had made a really cute zipper pack for their headphones. I thought, “that looks cool! I should do that.” Then I realized that I didn’t need to, I had already had the non-sewing version of this idea – use a coin purse. I especially liked this shot because of the star on the silver part of the lower headphone. I kept spotting it in the camera, but couldn’t tell, in camera, if I had caught it.

A doctor's visit

I'm supposed to be blogging everyday in support of my NaNoWriMo friends. But I'm sick. So today you're getting a blog about my visit to the doctor here in Small Town, Hokkaido.

After a weekend of not feeling so great and then going home sick today after lunch because I had no energy, my supervisor suggested that I visit the "hospital" in town. It's more like a clinic, and I've only ever seen the same doctor, so I assume there's only one.

The visit always starts with me handing the receptionist my blue Japanese insurance card. Then we wait. We, being myself and my JTE who was sent along to help with translation. This time, because the flu/colds and other winter illnesses are happening all around, we saw 4 of my students and the guy under the superintendent of the school district while we were waiting.

When they called my name, we missed it the first time because we were chatting with someone we knew. We go in and he points to a chair for me to sit on. My JTE sits on the bed for patients. The doctor sits on his chair, next to his computer. He wears a flu mask covering his mouth, but he's moved it down, off of his nose.

He asks me the normal questions about what's wrong, mostly in Japanese with very random bits of English mixed in. Asks me whether or not I have a fever. When asked this, I admit I haven't taken my temperature today, but I haven't had one all weekend. After this, he doesn't bother to take it (at home the doctor ALWAYS takes my temperature regardless of whether or not I've taken it and regardless of what I've come in for).

So, I'm diagnosed as sick. Probably with the assumption I have whatever bug is going around. After being diagnosed, I pay the 1040 yen that is due to the doctor for the visit (less than $10) and head over to the pharmacy to pick up the drugs he's prescribed me.

At the pharmacy, we hand in the papers and wait. Since it's such a small town, it doesn't take long for them to finish and call my name. The doctor has prescribed me with 3 kinds of medicine: cold/flu medicine, cough medicine and phlegm medicine.

The pharmacist explains the drugs to me in Japanese, me understanding only a small amount and recognizing some of them as drugs I've been prescribed before and have at home from when I quit feeling bad after previous doctor's visits (don't worry, none of them were antibiotics).

When he's finished his explanation, I pay for the medicine. It costs less than 500 yen (around $4). And head home.

I've been given the ok to take a couple of days for rest if I need them. Hopefully the energy that usually fills my body will come back and I will have the energy to be back teaching soon.



Less than a month till Christmas! I'm so excited to come home and see my family and good friends! 

Advent Conspiracy 2011

Just watched this video:



Though I didn't know the numbers, I had no idea how much more Americans spend on Christmas than is needed to provide clean water for everyone on earth.

If we gave even part of what we spend on our loved ones and ourselves this Christmas toward that cause or any other cause, we could make a huge difference in so many people's lives.

The crazy thing is, it quite closely follows what God and I have been wrestling with lately: How much do I need? How much can I give to those who are in need? 

Weather

If you’re actively coming to my blog, you can now see weather updates in the sidebar*. I stole the idea from E’s blog.

Unfortunately it doesn’t show you what’s coming up in Hokkaido weather:

and this:

But you can rest assured, that the weather forecast will look similar to that until about March (though it will get significantly colder before it warms back up) and that when I get back from Christmas, it will be snowboarding season!

Are you expecting snow in your part of the world anytime soon?

*Dad, click here, to get to my blog. Then look at the bar to the right of this post, you'll be able to see all the fun things there, including the weather. :) 

Dinner

I came home this evening with a headache and the last thing I wanted to do was to make dinner. So, I had a freezer meal.

These aren’t the freezer meals that you’d find in America. Those don’t exist in Japan and these taste way better. Basically, when I cook a meal I usually cook the whole 4-6 serving recipe, then I eat most of the servings over a few meals and put one or two in the freezer.

This means when I come home and have no interest in cooking, I can eat one. It also means I don’t have to sacrifice taste or nutrition for quickness by buying convenience store food.

Tonight’s dinner? Thai red curry (plus a couple of basil leaves off my plant to add color and taste).



What do you like to eat when you don’t feel like cooking?

Another song . . .

Despite not being a type of song I would normally like, the lyrics of this song have really struck home.

These being my favorite lyrics:
“In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed”

“But I gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use”

Among these things she lists all the “stuff.” For me, small frustrations happen all the time, I needed this reminder that I’m to trust God in these things despite what the situation looks like.

What situations? Well, a big variety.

• A missed flight, running around the airport, and an expensive solution
• Twisting my knee on the ski slope today
• Frustrations with my teaching situation
• Catching a cold
• Hitting a deer with my car
• etc.

All of that? Well despite it, God has still blessed me in so many bigger ways. I have to remember to fix my eyes on him in those places and he will take care of all the rest.
He always does.

EPIC GOMI (garbage) FAIL

Friday, I forget to take out my nama gomi (raw garbage/compost). No big deal, right? I’ll just take it out on Monday morning and all will be fine.

Tonight, I return from church with my JTE and because of a particularly long meeting, dinner out and then grocery shopping, we arrive home at 10pm. Not too bad. Having had caffeine a little on the late side and knowing that Sunday is the best time to chop up my veggies, I head into the kitchen to put food away and throw other food away.

At the 100 yen store this afternoon, I bought a couple of new bags for the onions and potatoes that have been in my fridge quite a long time and have been doing just fine. So I start there. I dig through the potatoes and find that the majority of them need to go. There’s a handful that can go in my new fancy bag – probably good that I bought the bags, because I had to go through the bad produce. Then I begin doing the same thing on the onions. The first few are still good. Then I get lower in the bag and they are soft – according to the website I found, this means they have to go. I get lower in the bag and find mushy, fuzzy onions. At this point, I decide that I’m glad I bought tongs at the 100 yen shop as well because I don’t have to touch the nasty onions – yay!

After I’ve gone through the onions and potatoes, I glance through the rest of my produce drawer. I didn’t go through peppers as fast as I thought I would last week and I now have two very soft peppers on my hands. I decide to toss these as well and the grapes that are mostly over ripe at this point in the week.

This is all well and good, but having not chopped any produce yet, my gomi bag is FULL. Nothing else is going in that bag if I want to be able to tie it shut. So I decide to take it out. I don’t even want to chance forgetting to take it out this week.

I begin to pull the bag out and notice some gomi juice in the gomi bucket. I don’t want to drip this the whole way to the gomi cage, so I carry the bucket out. In the entryway, I find my plastic garbage that I had forgotten to take out the last two Wednesdays (the good thing about that is it never smells). Since people in my apartment complex are terrible at being Japanese, there’s always gomi out early (apparently in most of Japan this is against the rules and the gomi police will return it). I decide I’m going to take the plastics out too.

I grab my fleece and my rain boots and head out. I walk down to the gomi cage and stick both gomi bags into one hand so that I can open the cage. The plastic being the easiest, I toss in first.

Once that’s in the cage, I grab my nama gomi and stand back so it won’t leak on me. Then I yank it out by the handle of the bag (think shopping bag with the handles tied together).

I get it to just in front of the gomi cage when BOOM. My gomi bag explodes all over the ground IN FRONT of the gomi cage.

I am utterly shocked standing with an empty bag in my hand. How is it that the gomi bag I have in my hand is now empty? One minute the gomi was in my hand, the next it was all over the ground.

Then, I do what I always do in a random moment like this. I start laughing. My gomi had rejected the gomi cage. What other JET has had that experience?

After I get over the insanity of my situation (I’m still standing there), I decide I need to do something. As much as I would rather pretend it wasn’t me, I can’t leave this for someone else. I head back into the house to grab a new gomi bag and try to figure out how I’m going to get all the gomi picked up.

As I enter the house it occurs to me, I’ll use the freshly cleaned tongs I bought today so I don’t have to touch the nasty food all over the ground. I head back out. It’s 11:45 and I’m headed out in my blue rain boots, armed with a gomi bucket and tongs. I’m sure if anyone had been looking outside at that moment, I would have been a hilarious sight.

With my weapons, I manage to take out the mess bit by bit, apple cores, potatoes, onion, peppers, carrot ends, and parts of veggies all get tossed into the new bag. I managed to get all the whole things picked up. I find something slimy and wonder what it is I ate last week that would go bad this fast.

I get to the bottom and remember, as I find them, that last week I had not been able to use 4 eggs before the expiration date. They’ve cracked over the small bits of gomi that are left along with the dirt. I get most of that picked up. But, lacking a hose or any water source to rinse the area. It’s going to be gross in a couple of days. I’m very much hoping for rain this evening to wash the whole mess away. But looking at the weather forecast, rain’s not likely until tomorrow night.

I returned to my kitchen after that to chop up the veggies before I lost steam and didn’t have the energy to do it. As I now head to bed, I have a container of celery, one of carrots and two of peppers in my fridge and ready for healthy snacking this week.

Leaving in less than 24 hours

I absolutely love how the Lord provides. This time, I was crunched for time. I had no idea how I was going to get everything finished to come home, yet I got everything on my to-do list done and then some.

Which is AMAZING! Because I leave my town in less than 24 hours to take the train to Sapporo, stay the night and then fly out for PORTLAND on Tuesday! I can't wait for Christmas. So much so that I was going to burst if I didn't watch A Christmas Story (which isn't quite the same without Mandie sitting next to me).

So in honor of my favorite Christmas movie:

"I can't put my arms down!"

"Oh Fudge!!!"

"You'll shoot your eye out"

"He looks like a deranged Easter bunny . . . like a pink nightmare."

"You used up all the glue ON PURPOSE!"

"Fra-gi-lee . . . must be Italian"

If anyone wants to join Mandie and I on our Christmas eve tradition of watching it, one of the cable channels always has it on for 24 (or maybe 12) hours straight before Christmas.

Merry Christmas!!!

December Goals

So this evening I was reflecting on how fast November went and how I didn’t feel near as homesick as I had in October. What changed? I added a blog a day as a challenge and tried to keep up with my Japanese during that month. Two very big goals.

Possibly a little too big. I had a really hard time keeping up with both. The Japanese book was above my head and sometimes took more time than I had available in my usually free days. I know I stayed up way to late often because of trying to do so. On the other hand, I also felt less homesick which is huge.

I realized I need some new goals for December. In part to keep me focused on what the Lord has before me and in part just to push myself to grow. In thinking about the coming month and what is coming I’ve decided to stick with two goals:

Study Japanese everyday. I’ve seen great improvements in the last month and I want to continue to improve in December. Also, I want to have book 2 finished before I go home (right now I have a test and one section of a lesson left to do. Is this do-able? I’m not entirely sure, but I really want to be able to take book 3 home with me and work on it super leisurely.

Sleep enough. I don’t want to arrive home burnt out and barely rested. That would likely mean I would get sick too, which would be a terrible way to spend the holiday.

Study Japanese everyday and sleep enough. Can I do it? I hope so.

An amazing day!

Today was an amazing day. Here are a few of the highlights: **

Chatting it up with the crazies on skype for a total of about 6 hours. Using Google wave to carry on private conversations, map a route to my house, beginning another quote book, Barats & Bereta theme song.

Getting to talk to my family on the break, in between the two conversations with the crazies. Having dad challenge me to a bowling wii game.

Talking to my friend, K, until I absolutely had to leave for my supervisor’s house, about some good things. Leaving at absolutely the last minute and arriving at my supervisor’s house EXACTLY at 6 (as planned).

Going to my supervisor’s house for dinner with her and her family. Including amazing food – sukiyaki (there was beef, dad!). I was actually able to communicate most of what I wanted to in Japanese and gestures (getting better each day!!!). Good conversation with my supervisor and her family. Their absolutely adorable Toy Poodle. Amazing non-American cheesecake, but this one didn’t have a nasty pie crust and it actually tasted good. Then Wii, which I sucked at the sports, but did amazing at the other game we played. Learning a trick for Wii bowling (maybe I’ll beat you after all, Dad!!). I had a blast.

Arriving home to discover not only the package from my family, but a Thanksgiving card from my aunt. Inside the package? Amazing, exciting things. My sister made me a couple of adorable gifts and wrote me the sweetest letter. Acne stuff that I somehow didn’t bring with me to Japan. Maybe I’ll actually have clear skin now!! Chocolate. Bandaids and Neosporin. I can now handle any cuts that come my way!

A wonderful day. I feel so loved! I wonder what the Lord has in store for me tomorrow?

**Please note my apology for the overuse of fragments and exclamation points. I was quite excited about what an amazing day it was and wanted to share with all of you. The Lord has been bringing me through plenty of hard times lately and I wanted to make sure that I didn’t forget to share the good too.

Blessings

Today is the day after Thanksgiving here, but I didn’t really celebrate until today when I got to talk to my extended family on Skype.

So today’s blog is about all the ways the Lord has blessed me, because while it’s hard to be so far away, the Lord has also blessed me in a ton of ways.

In a country where less than 1% of the people are believers, I have a JTE who is not only a believer, but also is willing to bring me along with her to church any Sunday that I’m in town.

Church. Through my JTE I have found an amazing church that has a heart to see people grow in the Lord. Both their own members and to reach out to others in Japan. They also have an American missionary who can translate for me. So I actually understand the message!

Work. I have a job. So many people in the world are struggling to find a job so they can pay bills and support a family. I am able to not only pay my bills, but save and pay down my school debt.

Japanese. I am understanding more and more everyday. With that understanding also comes more ability to communicate with people, which is so exciting.

Friendships here. I have been able to connect with a few of the other teachers in my schools pretty well. They still don’t have the western culture of “hey, want to do something tonight?” but I have been able to have them over and they’ve had me over.

My town. The people here care about me. If I were to voice a problem, they would help me find a solution. They also pay half my ticket home once a year. Which is HUGE.

My supervisor. Her family has adopted me a bit. I get to have dinner with her family tomorrow and she’s taken me with them to Furano several times to shop and go to her son’s baseball games.

Other JETs. I have made some good friendships here and have been able to travel some to see these friends. I haven’t left Hokkaido yet, but there is a whole lot to see even here.

Bible Study. Because of the Christian Jet Fellowship, I was able to get connected with 3 other believers and we have Bible Study every Thursday night. It has been an amazing time to grow in the Lord and build one another up.

My family. I have an incredible family who cares about me a lot.

My home church. Where many of the people not only care enough to pray, but many care enough keep in contact through letters and email.

Friends. I have amazing friends at home who haven’t let the distance get in the way of our friendships.

Skype. I have been able to talk to my family and SEE them despite the fact that I am so far away. It’s hard not to be able to give hugs, but it’s also been wonderful to be able to not only talk to them for free but see them too.

Many of my blogs may be about tough things the Lord has brought me through, but he has also put so many blessings in my life.

Home

Today I messaged some friends on the insanely long train on the way back to my apartment. I called it “home.” Does that mean I am becoming more at home here? It took me a while to call college home after moving there for the school year, that town definitely became my home over time. It was hard to leave that “home” for Japan.

“If home is where the heart is
Then my home is where you are” – Relient K

Has the Lord put my heart here? What does he desire me to do while I’m here in this tiny town? In what ways will he use me?

The Russian Restaraunt

This weekend, I am visiting one of the northern cities in Hokkaido. It has many Russian people that come in and out because of fishing. Many of the signs are in Russian as well. My friend who lives here, L, told me the Russian restaraunt was amazing and we should go.

We decided to go with one of the other ALTs in town, V, and her boyfriend. When we got there, we were seated at a table next to a table of three Russian guys. They said "hello" in English and then we went about talking to our group.

Soon, the first course came. It was a salad that resembled a salad that we would find at home and sharing the plate with it was a purpley potato salad that was really good. With that, a roll thing with beef, egg, and corn inside. They were both really good.

Next thing we know, one of them has come over and has sat right next to V. At first, he was just a friendly guy with very little English. He said hello, asked our names and then where we are all from (normal questions in Japan). We answered and are enjoying talking to someone from another culture (we're here for internationalization, right?). Through out all of this he seems very interested in V. After a few minutes of this, he headed back to his table with his two buddies.

We continued our meal and more courses came. We received some skewers with some amazing meat on them and some yummy borscht. He returned again. He asked us all our names again and told us his. It was voulvog (or something like that). He tried to have us pronounce it, we failed miserably. Then he asked if the guy sitting next to J was her boyfriend. She said yes and made sure it was clear that they were together. He wasn't deterred. He asked L and I. We said no. His next attempt was to get us to dance. We all kindly refused. He returned to his table yet again.

In his absence this time, another yummy dumpling soup came. It was delicious and had some mustard that went on the dumplings.

As we were eating it, he returned. This time to offer for each of us (starting with J and ending with me) if we wanted to smoke. Yet again, we refused. Around this time, his friend commented that he thought I was beautiful and that his friend was crazy. We laughed and went back to our conversation again.

We were nearly finished with our meal when he returned again. This time we were starting to feel like "stop bugging us, J is not interested and neither are we." The restaurant owner must have been able to see this, because she came over and sent him away. His friend, yet again apologized and told me again that I was beautiful.

Blessings today

This morning I woke up about half an hour before my alarm went off (supposed to go off at 4:30 am). I had gone to bed late enough last night that even my alarm time was too early. I wasn't able to go back to sleep and didn't have a good attitude about the whole thing.

But the day turned out well. I was able to get ready early and talk to my dad on his lunch break. We had a really good conversation. My walk to the train station in the snow wasn't terrible. I wasn't freezing (I now have enough layers for being outside in the snow).

I made all my connecting trains in all the new cities and stations. The train ride was long, but I had some good time with the Lord and very much enjoyed looking out the window at the beautiful countryside. Snow was falling as we rode past and it just seemed magical.

The best part though, was when I was able to speak Japanese to the lady next to me on the train enough to ask where the bathroom was. She pointed me in the right direction and away I went. When I returned, she tried to share some snacks with me, but I already had the same thing in my bag. Instead I shared a random snack I found at the station with her. She smiled and talked to me more, which I didn't quite understand, but she was so sweet!

Rememberance Day

Today is Transgender Remembrance Day. I didn’t have a clue that there even was such a thing until my friend told me about it. She’s transgender and a good friend. She’s so much more though than this title/stigma that people put with that. She’s a real person. She cares about people, she’s a good listener, she loves to create websites.

Yet despite being an amazing person, she was afraid to tell me that she’s transgender. She was afraid of my reaction. And I don’t blame her. I didn’t handle it well at first. I didn’t know what to do or think. I had a zillion questions and I wasn’t sure if she was ok with me asking. I remember having to deal with some of the ugliness inside of me before I could really just be a real friend to her. Why? Because I let a lot of the junk of this world get in the way of realizing that it doesn’t matter, she’s my friend and that’s what’s important.

As we talked about this day, I didn’t quite get it. What were we supposed to be remembering? She informed me that 105 transgender people have died from hate crimes this year. I was blown away.

I refuse to take a stand on whether it’s right or wrong. I don’t think that’s the point. Jesus called me to love people. Behind every controversial issue there are real people. It doesn’t matter if we agree with what they believe or what they are doing. The word calls me to love them.

When we first talked, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to write about this. It’s such a controversial topic and did I really want to have to deal with people possibly disliking my opinion? After writing the other day about hearing something and acting on it, I realized that I had to write something. If for no other reason than to bring attention to what is really happening, if I were stay quiet, how am I doing anything to stop these hate crimes?

Two years ago

Two years ago, today, my longest standing friend, Cara, died in a car accident. In a lot of ways I’m surprised at how untouched I am, and at the same time I miss her a lot.

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget her. She was such a big part of my childhood. Cara’s family was like an extension of mine. We shared Kindergarten, annoyance with our younger sisters, girl scouts, snow days and so much more.

At the same time, I’m amazed at how much time has passed since then. I’ve graduated – we should have graduated together. We would have started school together and finished together, but in one night, one drunk driver took that away.

Cara, you will always be missed, but we had so many good memories.

I remember the last time I saw you, you came in the door on Friday night so proud of your new glasses and that you could see well again. Because of that moment, I had to think very hard when my parents told me what had happened early that Sunday morning. My first thought, “but I saw you last night.” Then realized I was forgetting that Saturday happened in between.

I’ll never forget all the fun times we had as apartment-mates, and all the times you cooked things for our all of us. The cake cookies I learned to cook from you. Or all the crazy things you did – like keeping pizza in the cold oven until you had finished the whole thing (this always made me laugh). Or keeping your bedroom window open when you had the heat on. Or the giant shoe collection (maybe mountain is a better word) that always plagued our entryway. Or Liz & Melissa’s weddings we got all dressed up for and went to together. Or watching you get excited that you were about to be an aunt (and you would have been an amazing one).

It often just feels as though you’ve moved back to Arizona. We didn’t talk often after you moved there, in sixth grade, but when I hear something that makes me think of you, I want to call or email you. I’ll never forget the first time it happened. I was home and I was reading something that mentioned Chandler, and I wanted to call you and ask you about it. As I thought about moving to get my phone (your phone number still in it), I realized I can’t call anymore.

All that to say, I miss you. There are some days when I don’t think of you at all, similar to when you were alive and in Arizona, and other days when I can’t believe that it’s been so long since you’ve been gone. You were an amazing friend and I am thankful to have been a part of your life. Know that you will always be remembered.